What’s on your mind if I say “pain in the ass”?

I really don’t care.

I’ll tell you what I think. I think of blueberries.

It’s the only living thing in our garden named “pain in the ass”.

Two blueberry varieties in one pot is the best way to go if you want more berries

Well, I have another one for you, named the “Headache”. Which, personally, is worse to endure than the former.

Ever since I was gifted this Gardenia Shrub/plant/bush…I have been religiously trying to resuscitate it over the past year or so. It’s doing fabulous…check it out.

Ugh, I know you are blown away. All I am saying is, it’s a great plant, go get one!

And trust me when I tell you,

I KNOW WHAT IT NEEDS.

The plant I got was twice the size of the leftovers you just observed.

My Headache is participating in a challenge called “slow down, reverse, pause, grow a bit, reverse”.

If you are thinking to grow a headache, in pots in particular, make sure you are able to plant it in acidic soil (I can’t stress this enough) and maintain it consistently moist. The same level of acidity you would generally use for the pain in the ass.

Do not let it dry out, keep the soil moist to the touch.

Place the pot in semi shade.

I know you will be trying to give it CPR not long after you get it, so my advice to you is:

Repot it into a smaller container, get rid of the original soil it came in, and buy the Acidic Mix from Laguna Hills Nursery. Hi Gary!

Or, make your soil acidic. The best soil Acidifier I know is Simply Soil Acidifier by Whole Gardener. You can find it on their website.

Then,

Trim all the dead branches, those that appear dry.

Buy pure Citric Acid for times when you need it most, you should have it. (only a temporary solution)

And, if you have been following this blog for some time, you already know the best advice.

TALK TO IT! Therapy sessions for plants are hugely underrated.

Lastly…Thank me.

Look, you see? A Little leaf right there…


Now,

I will assume you think you know how to talk to this:

They tell you it’s easy:)

But I will tell you, how to actually make it easy.

If you have a backyard go dig up some native soil and fill in the pot. If you don’t, go to the nearest sidewalk and make a mess.

Then, buy some pumice (crushed volcanic rock) or perlite. Mix those two together.

Go to the nearest home improvement store and pick a sad looking one. Or two, if you feel like saving lives.

The only thing left to remember:

Do NOT EVER place it in the sun.

It’s been giving me pups. Just snip one off and put it in a small pot, it’ll root.

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